Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Things That Make You Say, "Hmmmm"

Well, it's official. The good news is, Bruce got his time off and we will be going on vacation Friday. The bad news is that the place we normally stay at when we go to the beach is completely booked! It's the middle of September and they're BOOKED!!! Hmmmm!

Twelve floors of the Ocean Drive Golf and Beach Resort are booked with only one room available for us. One room. Apparently, every shagger between the ages of 40-60 will be in the area for the Shag Convention. And apparently, surrounding hotels are the same. Which means everything on that side of Myrtle Beach will be busy and packed. Hmmmm!

I don't like busy and packed beaches. I like empty, quiet beaches. You know...when children are in drunk college kids are running around...Adults are at work... and the beach, the pools, and jacuzzis are ours! But no! Here come the shaggers. Dancing their way right into my perfect vacation spot. Who do they think they are, anyway? I suppose there's always the mountains...but then there's also the other side of the beach. I'll let ya know later. Hmmmm!


I don't think I would mind watching sports on TV too much, if it weren't for the commentators. Sometimes they get on my nerves. I mean, the players are out there, things are moving fast, they have to think fast, and sometimes they don't think too brightly. Yeah, they could have, should have done something different, but that's playing the game, right? On the flip side, they ARE being paid millions to move fast, think fast, and think wisely. But still...sometimes the commentators just need to give 'em a break.

With that said, I thought I'd share a few things commentators have said that weren't too bright. LOL These came out of a book Cassie gave Bruce for Christmas.

*"If only faces could talk." ~Pat Summerall, NFL announcer Hmmm

*"Hector Torres, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?" ~Jerry Coleman, San Diego Padres announcer Hmmm

*"A lot of good ballgames on tomorrow, but we're going to be right here with the Cubs and the Mets." ~Thom Brennaman, Chicago Cubs announcer Hmmm

*"Lance Armstrong is about to join a list which includes only himself." ~Mark Brown, ESPN sports analyst Hmmm

*"I don't think anywhere is there a symbiotic relationship between caddie and player like there is in golf." ~Johnny Miller, golf analyst Hmmm

*"It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs." ~David Coleman, British sports announcer Hmmm

*"The Minutemen are not tall in terms of height." ~Dan Bonner, college basketball analyst Hmmm

*"Jose Canseco leads off the 3rd inning with a grand slam!" ~John Gordon, Minnesota Twins announcer Hmmm

*"The offensive lineman are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field." ~John Madden, NFL announcer Hmmm

*"Watch the expression on his mask." ~Harry Neale, hockey analyst Hmmm

And this one is my favorite
*"The game's in the refrigerator, folks. The door's closed, the light's out, the eggs are cooling, the butter's gettin' hard, and the Jell-O-s a-jigglin'." ~Chick Hearn, L.A. Lakers announcer Hmmm