There's really not a day that goes by where my dad doesn't cross my mind several times throughout the day. There are many things that trigger my thoughts of him, but today was just a funny experience I had with an elderly man and something that would have happened between my dad and me. Remember "Mr. Happy Fingers"?
Today was our third day working out at the gym. I did the 30 minute express with Bruce and then we each moved on to different activities. After working on some of the upper body machines I moved over to the bicycles. The way they have things set up is several bicycles all in a row with tv's up above for all to view, each one on different stations. You plug in your earphones, set your box to the station you want and you can enjoy a little tv or even radio while you work out. While I pedaled my little feet away, I watched all the political mambo-jumbo on FOX News. In my own little world, I was taken off guard by an elderly gentleman that had taken the bicycle next to mine and gently tapped me on the shoulder. Our experience went like this:
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Him: My tv won't work.
Me: You have to keep your machine going or it'll cut off.
Him: Oh. (tries vigorously to get both feet in the foot straps.)
Me: (Stops pedaling to help.)
Him: Thank you.
Me: You're very welcome! (Pedaling....pedaling.... resets tv settings.... feels tap on my shoulder.)
Him: (pedaling) The tv still isn't working.
Me: (noticing his earphones in his hand...) You have to plug your earphones into the box.
Him: OH! (plugs in earphones, still pedaling)
Me: (Pedaling....pedaling.... feels another tap on my shoulder.)
Him: I think there's something wrong with it.
Me: Did you push the power button? It's that one right there.
Him: (Stops pedaling to look...pushes button) No, it's still not coming on.
Me: You have to be pedaling.
Him (Pedals... pushes button...) There it is!
Me: All right!
We pedal and watch Fox News together and all was, once again, well in bicycle world. :)
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As we sat there pedaling and "watching" the news I couldn't help but think of how this situation would have happened with my dad and I got a little tickled. I never did get the elderly man's name, but I plan to next time I see him. Sitting next to him was just like sitting next to dad.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Too Funny Not To Share
Property Rules of a Toddler:
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hands, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours, in any way.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all of the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours.
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hands, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours, in any way.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all of the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
A Tuesday Funny
The house was quiet last night when we heard Bruce speak up and say, "Hannah, the city of Oz called. They want their socks back."
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Inquiring Minds, Prayer Requests, and Vintage
Anonymous, I did answer your question, but the special prayer request pushed it down. So you can read what I believe about salvation here. :)
Here's an update from Becca's dad: "
She definitely needs prayer. Please pray.
The other night we went to hear our Associate Pastor preach and hear our bluegrass group, Vintage play and sing at a local church that was having special services for a missionary couple we know.
We didn't have much time so we stopped at Burker King for supper. Bruce was very hungry, and obviously very thankful. haha And no, he did NOT eat two whoppers and two fries. One of those whoppers and fries were Justin's. :) He's so crazy. Gotta love him!
Me and my little son. Yeah, right!!
Vintage was getting set up. Justin has recently started playing the banjo for the group and he's donig a great job. He never ceases to amaze me. And Hannah too. She is something else on the piano. She's getting better and better but still won't play in public. I suppose if she enjoys it for herself that's good enough for now. I know I sure enjoy it!
The meeting was actually for Brother Leroy and Mrs. Joyce. They're going to be missionaries and the pastor of this church wanted to have a special service for them with all the offering going to them for their missions. They were thankful for that.
And then Brother Johnny preached. I get so tickled at him sometimes. He is so animated with his eyes and voice inflections. I get cracked up at him but his messages are always great.
Here's an update from Becca's dad: "
She definitely needs prayer. Please pray.
The other night we went to hear our Associate Pastor preach and hear our bluegrass group, Vintage play and sing at a local church that was having special services for a missionary couple we know.
We didn't have much time so we stopped at Burker King for supper. Bruce was very hungry, and obviously very thankful. haha And no, he did NOT eat two whoppers and two fries. One of those whoppers and fries were Justin's. :) He's so crazy. Gotta love him!
Me and my little son. Yeah, right!!
Vintage was getting set up. Justin has recently started playing the banjo for the group and he's donig a great job. He never ceases to amaze me. And Hannah too. She is something else on the piano. She's getting better and better but still won't play in public. I suppose if she enjoys it for herself that's good enough for now. I know I sure enjoy it!
The meeting was actually for Brother Leroy and Mrs. Joyce. They're going to be missionaries and the pastor of this church wanted to have a special service for them with all the offering going to them for their missions. They were thankful for that.
And then Brother Johnny preached. I get so tickled at him sometimes. He is so animated with his eyes and voice inflections. I get cracked up at him but his messages are always great.
We had a good time and enjoyed the service. I just found out last night that Tony Hutson was at a nearby church. I would have loved to have gone. Tonight we'll be at our own church and tomorrow night our church is having the Inspirations. So we'll be there. Lord willing we'll be able to hear Brother Hutson Friday night if he's going to be there. If not, that's ok. We're excited about going to his teen camp meeting in April. It's always good.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
I Ain't Never Gettin' Saved Again!
Our baptism has some heating elements in it so when we baptize someone the water is always warm. Definitely not like the good ole days when they baptized in the creek! Although, there are some churches that still do that today. I'd love to see one sometime.
Anyway! This little boy that use to come to our church moved away with his family to Canada. Since they've left, the little boy accepted Jesus into his heart and when they were down visiting he told his family he wanted to get baptized by Preacher Goodman at Faith. So his grandpa and the little boy talked it over with Pastor and set everything up. But this particular Sunday the heating elements were not working and the water was ICE cold. Mind you, we had just had our first big winter snow for these parts.
At first the little boy got in and it was just too cold and he was fixin' to back out and Pastor told him it was all right to back out if he wanted to. The little boy had mixed emotions about it. He wanted to get baptized, but that water sure was cold.
Finally after deliberating on it a few minutes the little boy's grandpa pushed him in the water to Pastor (with the boys consent, of course), pastor dunked him, and it was all over with as quickly as possible. It happened so fast I didn't even see it happen and I was on the front pew! You couldn't see the little boy but we all heard him proclaim, "I ain't never gettin' saved again!" We've had a good laugh over that. Kids are the best! You can't help but love 'em.
Friday, July 9, 2010
PULL OVER!!!
It's been a long while since we've had a stomach bug in the house. Hannah came down with it Wednesday night. Since then, Bruce and I have been feeling sick. No visual effects, but the feeling is there. It's at that point where you just wish something would hurry up and happen because feeling this way really slows a body down.
The kids were on their way to pick up some things for camp. They called and said Harrison had gotten sick and they were on their way back home to drop him off. Bless his heart. This is kind of a funny story. The more I thought about it the funnier it became until I was literally squirting tears and laughing hysterically. Poor kid...
So Justin is driving down the road. Hannah is in the passenger's seat. Harrison is in the back seat of the car lying down. The fact he was lying down would have been a good clue he wasn't feeling good. But the two teenagers in the front seat didn't pick up on it. Anyway, as they're driving down Franklin Blvd (which is three lanes both ways) Justin feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns to look at Harrison who is holding his head in such a way that THIS clue tips off both teenagers he's fixin' to hurl. Hannah begins yelling, "PULL THE CAR OVER! PULL OVER!!!" Unfortunately for all of them, there was no way or no where to stop the car with other cars whizzing by them. The only two options were to, A: let Harrison vomit in the car, or, B: roll the window down and hang his head out. They all knew option A was a really bad idea. So option B was implemented. Down goes the window, out goes Harrison's head. He immediately released the last day or so of food buildup on his stomach. Most of which ended up splattered all over the back of the car, down his car door, and the tire . I can only imagine the thoughts of the people driving by them as they watched with horror, a little boy puking his guts up riding down the blvd. Needless to say they made it back home. Harrison got sick once he walked back into the house but is now resting quietly in bed and a glass of coke within reach. Justin washed the car....obviously....and he and Hannah took off once again to finish their camp shopping.
Oh me, oh my....the things that happen in life, right?
The kids were on their way to pick up some things for camp. They called and said Harrison had gotten sick and they were on their way back home to drop him off. Bless his heart. This is kind of a funny story. The more I thought about it the funnier it became until I was literally squirting tears and laughing hysterically. Poor kid...
So Justin is driving down the road. Hannah is in the passenger's seat. Harrison is in the back seat of the car lying down. The fact he was lying down would have been a good clue he wasn't feeling good. But the two teenagers in the front seat didn't pick up on it. Anyway, as they're driving down Franklin Blvd (which is three lanes both ways) Justin feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns to look at Harrison who is holding his head in such a way that THIS clue tips off both teenagers he's fixin' to hurl. Hannah begins yelling, "PULL THE CAR OVER! PULL OVER!!!" Unfortunately for all of them, there was no way or no where to stop the car with other cars whizzing by them. The only two options were to, A: let Harrison vomit in the car, or, B: roll the window down and hang his head out. They all knew option A was a really bad idea. So option B was implemented. Down goes the window, out goes Harrison's head. He immediately released the last day or so of food buildup on his stomach. Most of which ended up splattered all over the back of the car, down his car door, and the tire . I can only imagine the thoughts of the people driving by them as they watched with horror, a little boy puking his guts up riding down the blvd. Needless to say they made it back home. Harrison got sick once he walked back into the house but is now resting quietly in bed and a glass of coke within reach. Justin washed the car....obviously....and he and Hannah took off once again to finish their camp shopping.
Oh me, oh my....the things that happen in life, right?
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Home
It's Wednesday night and I should be at church. But Hannah has come down with the stomach virus. It came on just a few minutes before she and Justin were going to leave for orchestra practice. Since then she's been in her bed or bowing before the porcelain throne. Bless her heart. I hope she's better soon and it doesn't go through the whole house. But I figure it's probably going to so I'm mentally ready for it. *sigh*
I've been told I'm a piece of work, so here I am as artwork. Mona ain't got nothin' on me. ha haa
We've had "Baby Girl" and "Tater Tot" the last couple of days. They're the foster daughters of some sweet people in our church. I haven't taken any pictures of them, which I really regret. I've stayed pretty busy and honestly haven't thought about it. Well, I have, but it was always when I was cleaning, doing laundry, or cooking. If they come Friday I'll have to take some. They are the cutest little girls and so sweet. We've enjoyed having them.
We had the Rohrer family over for supper last night. It looks as though they'll be moving out of state in the next week or so. It's going to be difficult packing everything up and moving to a whole new place. They started their family here. Their children have been raised in our church. All of their friends are here. They're involved in ministries here. But I know God is moving them for a reason and that He has a great church, good friends, and other ministries waiting for them where they're going.
We haven't started on our new building for the church yet. We're still waiting on some papers to arrive so we can get started on that. Seems like anytime things like this are going on, you're always waiting on "paper work." Red tape isn't all it's cracked up to be. LOL Can I just say, "HEY, RED TAPE PEOPLE, HOW 'BOUT SOME PAPERWORK ALREADY???" :) I figure it won't be too much longer.
A bloggy friend wanted to know if I had skype so she could call and talk to me about something. I do, but I was telling her the webcam on my laptop isn't working. Then I remembered I have another webcam Bruce bought me. But I can't find it. I found the little CD to install it, but the camera is no where to be found. I know it's around here somewhere. It's just a matter of where. As I finished typing that I thought of a place it's probably at. See, sometimes you just have to talk it out.
Well, I started this much earlier this evening and now here it is almost 12:00 am. I'm shutting it down and going to bed.
Goodnight, friends.
I've been told I'm a piece of work, so here I am as artwork. Mona ain't got nothin' on me. ha haa
We've had "Baby Girl" and "Tater Tot" the last couple of days. They're the foster daughters of some sweet people in our church. I haven't taken any pictures of them, which I really regret. I've stayed pretty busy and honestly haven't thought about it. Well, I have, but it was always when I was cleaning, doing laundry, or cooking. If they come Friday I'll have to take some. They are the cutest little girls and so sweet. We've enjoyed having them.
We had the Rohrer family over for supper last night. It looks as though they'll be moving out of state in the next week or so. It's going to be difficult packing everything up and moving to a whole new place. They started their family here. Their children have been raised in our church. All of their friends are here. They're involved in ministries here. But I know God is moving them for a reason and that He has a great church, good friends, and other ministries waiting for them where they're going.
We haven't started on our new building for the church yet. We're still waiting on some papers to arrive so we can get started on that. Seems like anytime things like this are going on, you're always waiting on "paper work." Red tape isn't all it's cracked up to be. LOL Can I just say, "HEY, RED TAPE PEOPLE, HOW 'BOUT SOME PAPERWORK ALREADY???" :) I figure it won't be too much longer.
A bloggy friend wanted to know if I had skype so she could call and talk to me about something. I do, but I was telling her the webcam on my laptop isn't working. Then I remembered I have another webcam Bruce bought me. But I can't find it. I found the little CD to install it, but the camera is no where to be found. I know it's around here somewhere. It's just a matter of where. As I finished typing that I thought of a place it's probably at. See, sometimes you just have to talk it out.
Well, I started this much earlier this evening and now here it is almost 12:00 am. I'm shutting it down and going to bed.
Goodnight, friends.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Where Is Your Father?
Mom and I went to see daddy yesterday, who, by the way, was doing great, especially after they gave him a roast beef sandwich at 7:30 PM after not having anything all day. Before going up to his room we decided to use the public restroom there in the hospital lobby.
A woman and her two small children came in and the conversation that took place between them cracked me up.
Child #1: Mommy, can I touch the toilet?
Mommy: No, you can't touch the toilet. But you can sit on it. (how that isn't touching it, I'll never know. Anyway...)
A few minutes later...
Child #1: Mommy, did you say I can touch the toilet?
Mommy: No, I said you can not touch the toilet.
Child #1: Mommy?
Mommy: Yes?
Child #1: I touched the toilet.
Mommy: Well don't touch it again. We'll wash your hands when you're finished.
Child #1: Mommy, my shoe fell off.
Mommy: Well put it back on.
Child #1: I can't reach it.
Mommy: Why not?
Child #1: Because I'm on the toilet.
Mommy: Then put it on when you get off.
Child #1: Will my foot get dirty?
Mommy: *sigh* Don't worry about your foot. We can wash it too.
Child #2: Mommy, I can't reach the sink.
Mommy: Well, here, I'll help you.
Child #2: Am I gonna sit on the counter?
Mommy: Yes, you are going to sit on the counter. You can reach the sink better that way.
Child #2: Mommy, what's that do?
(lights go off...pitch black in the bathroom)
Mommy: Turn the light back on!
Child #1: MOMMY! IT'S DARK
Child #2: *giggle*
Mommy: TURN THE LIGHT BACK ON!
Child #2: Ok
(lights back on)
(lights back off)
Mommy: Stop that! Turn it back on!
(lights back on)
(lights back off)
Mommy: I am not telling you again! Turn on that light!!
(lights back on)
Child #2: You're not fun.
Child #1: Mommy, I need to wash my hands because I touched the toilet.
Mommy: Where is your FATHER??
A woman and her two small children came in and the conversation that took place between them cracked me up.
Child #1: Mommy, can I touch the toilet?
Mommy: No, you can't touch the toilet. But you can sit on it. (how that isn't touching it, I'll never know. Anyway...)
A few minutes later...
Child #1: Mommy, did you say I can touch the toilet?
Mommy: No, I said you can not touch the toilet.
Child #1: Mommy?
Mommy: Yes?
Child #1: I touched the toilet.
Mommy: Well don't touch it again. We'll wash your hands when you're finished.
Child #1: Mommy, my shoe fell off.
Mommy: Well put it back on.
Child #1: I can't reach it.
Mommy: Why not?
Child #1: Because I'm on the toilet.
Mommy: Then put it on when you get off.
Child #1: Will my foot get dirty?
Mommy: *sigh* Don't worry about your foot. We can wash it too.
Child #2: Mommy, I can't reach the sink.
Mommy: Well, here, I'll help you.
Child #2: Am I gonna sit on the counter?
Mommy: Yes, you are going to sit on the counter. You can reach the sink better that way.
Child #2: Mommy, what's that do?
(lights go off...pitch black in the bathroom)
Mommy: Turn the light back on!
Child #1: MOMMY! IT'S DARK
Child #2: *giggle*
Mommy: TURN THE LIGHT BACK ON!
Child #2: Ok
(lights back on)
(lights back off)
Mommy: Stop that! Turn it back on!
(lights back on)
(lights back off)
Mommy: I am not telling you again! Turn on that light!!
(lights back on)
Child #2: You're not fun.
Child #1: Mommy, I need to wash my hands because I touched the toilet.
Mommy: Where is your FATHER??
Friday, April 30, 2010
Jubilee, Daddy, Babies, and Funnies
We were able to attend two nights of the Crossroads Rescue Mission Jubilee this week.
We heard some great singing from the Love Valley Baptist Church choir....
the Crossroads Rescue Mission men....
We heard some great singing from the Love Valley Baptist Church choir....
the Crossroads Rescue Mission men....
the Faith Baptist Church Vintage bluegrass group....
The Henson Family, and others.
We heard some great preaching. This preacher, Brother Williamson (I believe they said his name was) was something else. I think he was my favorite out of the three we heard, although all three were GREAT messages!
Brother Rocky Shelton Sr. (Director of Crossroads Rescue Mission)....
and Melissa (Pastor's wife at Bread of Life Baptist)
Mom and daddy came over for lunch and we had a good time. 'Lil Angel was passed around from person to person and received a bushel of lovin' from everybody. Here she is snuggled up to Paw Paw Birt. Isn't that sweet?
Daddy is doing very good. He ate until he was stuffed yesterday. I doubt he ate supper last night. LOL He was stumbling around a bit. I think his next surgery is to remove a cyst behind his eye. Hopefully that will greatly improve his vision! I am praying for that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And it is always good to see old friends, like Brother Keith Linzy (Evangelist)....
Brother Rocky Shelton Sr. (Director of Crossroads Rescue Mission)....
Dennis Gomez (We go waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back)....
Kim (Brother Keith's wife)....
and Melissa (Pastor's wife at Bread of Life Baptist)
It was good seeing all of our other friends there too!!
:)
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If you read the post below, you know we brought home a little one from church with us the other night. We had such a good time with her. She's such a cutie pie.
Here she is with her eyes on the prize. She never did reach it, but I'll admit that I did give her a smidgen of frosting. Boy, did her eyes light up then!
Mom and daddy came over for lunch and we had a good time. 'Lil Angel was passed around from person to person and received a bushel of lovin' from everybody. Here she is snuggled up to Paw Paw Birt. Isn't that sweet?
Daddy is doing very good. He ate until he was stuffed yesterday. I doubt he ate supper last night. LOL He was stumbling around a bit. I think his next surgery is to remove a cyst behind his eye. Hopefully that will greatly improve his vision! I am praying for that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've posted this before, but it's a little different. Still very funny. I received a lot of negative feedback, but funny is funny! You can click on them to enlarge them.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Yes, I Really Did Burp
OK, so I left this out of the previous post, but here it is 1:30 in the morning and I'm laying in bed laughing hysterically and had to come back to share this story.
As most of you know, I do not allow the passing of gas in any way, shape, or form in my presence. It is not something I overlook in my children's behavior, this most definitely includes burping. Oh, I think that is one of the rudest things to do in public. It shows just how uncivilized a person is.
Anyway, I am still not feeling my best since having had the stomach flu last week and therefore, I have been sipping on a lot of coke. Today was no different.
I had just finished a rather large glass of coke when I got up to go to the kitchen to check on supper. I peeked in at the meatballs simmering in one crock pot and turned to peek at the mac and cheese in the other crock pot when all of the sudden there it was. The most obscene, deep, and growling sound came rumbling out from between my lips. I quickly thrust my hand over my mouth and stood very still. All the while thinking, Was that me? When reality settled in, I realized that it was me, and began to giggle.
Bruce, who was reading quietly on the couch, asked, "What are you giggling at?"
"Did you not hear that?"
"Yeah, I heard it. What was it?"
"That was ME! I burped!"
"You burped? I thought you were dragging something across the counter top."
His statement tore me out of the frame laughing.
So, yeah, I really did burp. I guess I'm human.
As most of you know, I do not allow the passing of gas in any way, shape, or form in my presence. It is not something I overlook in my children's behavior, this most definitely includes burping. Oh, I think that is one of the rudest things to do in public. It shows just how uncivilized a person is.
Anyway, I am still not feeling my best since having had the stomach flu last week and therefore, I have been sipping on a lot of coke. Today was no different.
I had just finished a rather large glass of coke when I got up to go to the kitchen to check on supper. I peeked in at the meatballs simmering in one crock pot and turned to peek at the mac and cheese in the other crock pot when all of the sudden there it was. The most obscene, deep, and growling sound came rumbling out from between my lips. I quickly thrust my hand over my mouth and stood very still. All the while thinking, Was that me? When reality settled in, I realized that it was me, and began to giggle.
Bruce, who was reading quietly on the couch, asked, "What are you giggling at?"
"Did you not hear that?"
"Yeah, I heard it. What was it?"
"That was ME! I burped!"
"You burped? I thought you were dragging something across the counter top."
His statement tore me out of the frame laughing.
So, yeah, I really did burp. I guess I'm human.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Just for Laughs
My friend, Jennie in Texas, sent me an email that had some Christian one liners in it. Most all of them I had heard before, but there was one on there I had not heard and it totally cracked me up. It said, "Why do some people feel the need to change churches? What difference does it make which one they stay home from?" Thanks, Jennie. That was funny!!
My friend, Lucy, also sent me an email. It was a story of a man and woman coming home from a weekend trip. The traffic was moving slowly and the man noticed a bumper sticker on another car that read Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8. The man's Bible was on the dash so he picked it up to find the passage. That verse reads, "Let his days be few; and let another take his office." ha! I love it. I want one of those bumper stickers!!
I was watching Ace of Cakes on Food Network this evening. Do you watch that? They make some amazing cakes. Blows my mind! Anyway, one of the cake decorators was going through the company's email orders and a young woman wrote to say she would like to order a wedding cake from them. Her email said, "This is my first wedding. I want it to be special." Her FIRST wedding? I wonder what kind of cake she'll want for her NEXT wedding.
:D
After the depression we've felt this week, the laughter was nice. Thank you, my friends, for the giggles.
My friend, Lucy, also sent me an email. It was a story of a man and woman coming home from a weekend trip. The traffic was moving slowly and the man noticed a bumper sticker on another car that read Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8. The man's Bible was on the dash so he picked it up to find the passage. That verse reads, "Let his days be few; and let another take his office." ha! I love it. I want one of those bumper stickers!!
I was watching Ace of Cakes on Food Network this evening. Do you watch that? They make some amazing cakes. Blows my mind! Anyway, one of the cake decorators was going through the company's email orders and a young woman wrote to say she would like to order a wedding cake from them. Her email said, "This is my first wedding. I want it to be special." Her FIRST wedding? I wonder what kind of cake she'll want for her NEXT wedding.
:D
After the depression we've felt this week, the laughter was nice. Thank you, my friends, for the giggles.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
It's Time
I have decided that it's time to close this blog. I'll leave it up for archiving and such, but I just don't feel like doing it any longer. I've given it a lot of thought and I just really need to put my time and energy into something else.
I doubt I'll be reading blogs either. But I just want all of y'all to know how much you mean to me and how much I have enjoyed reading your blogs and getting to know you and your families. You are all just wonderful!
Thank you for being so sweet to me at Thimble Thoughts. I love you all!
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April Fool's...I'm not going anywhere! You actually fell for that??
I doubt I'll be reading blogs either. But I just want all of y'all to know how much you mean to me and how much I have enjoyed reading your blogs and getting to know you and your families. You are all just wonderful!
Thank you for being so sweet to me at Thimble Thoughts. I love you all!
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April Fool's...I'm not going anywhere! You actually fell for that??
Friday, March 6, 2009
What To Do With Those Valentine Balloons....
After considering throwing my Valentine balloons away, my dear husband and my dear son decided to have some fun with them.
Here is Bruce quoting some of Psalm 1:1....
And here is Justin quoting some of Shakespear.
I'm so proud.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Funny News Stories and Headlines
Bruce's Aunt Dessie sent this to me and I thought they were funny so I decided to share 'em with ya.
Get 50% off or half price!
Question of the Day
Q: What constitutes a millionaire?
A: A millionaire is someone who has $1 million, according to Jerry Beto, branch manager and senior vice president of investments at AG Edwards and Sons.
A deputy responded to a report of a vehicle stopping at mail boxes. It was the mailman.
Army Vehicle Disappears: An Austrailian Army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
Theft: A woman in the 1900 block of 129th Lane Northeast reported Oct 15 that someone must have stolen her mail, because she did not receive birthday cards from some of her friends.
Fish Need Water, Feds Say
Alton Attorney Accidentally Sues Himself
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Caskets Found as Workers Demolish Mausoleum
Utah Poison Control Center Reminds Everyone Not To Take Poison
Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons
Caller reports hitting intruder in the head with an axe. Notes that intruder "was in the mirror."
A man came to the Sheriff's Department to "find out how to legally kill" a person who was harassing him.
A caller reported at 7:14 pm that someone was on a porch yelling "help" from a residence on Bank Street. Officers responded and learned the person was calling a cat that is named "Help."
An Edgewood man reported recently that his wife had gone missing some 18 months ago.
FULL SIZE Mattress. Royal Tonic, 20 year warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell. $40.
For Sale: collection of old people.
Nissan Maxima, green, leather, loaded, CD, auto start, sunroof, 4-door, good condition, $4500. Not for sale.
TOMBSTONE: Standard gray. A good buy for someone named Grady.
Police checked the area and found an open door in the back of the building. An officer went inside and called out, "Marco."
Police found the suspect after he responded, "Polo."
Get 50% off or half price!
Question of the Day
Q: What constitutes a millionaire?
A: A millionaire is someone who has $1 million, according to Jerry Beto, branch manager and senior vice president of investments at AG Edwards and Sons.
A deputy responded to a report of a vehicle stopping at mail boxes. It was the mailman.
Army Vehicle Disappears: An Austrailian Army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
Theft: A woman in the 1900 block of 129th Lane Northeast reported Oct 15 that someone must have stolen her mail, because she did not receive birthday cards from some of her friends.
Fish Need Water, Feds Say
Alton Attorney Accidentally Sues Himself
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Caskets Found as Workers Demolish Mausoleum
Utah Poison Control Center Reminds Everyone Not To Take Poison
Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons
Caller reports hitting intruder in the head with an axe. Notes that intruder "was in the mirror."
A man came to the Sheriff's Department to "find out how to legally kill" a person who was harassing him.
A caller reported at 7:14 pm that someone was on a porch yelling "help" from a residence on Bank Street. Officers responded and learned the person was calling a cat that is named "Help."
An Edgewood man reported recently that his wife had gone missing some 18 months ago.
FULL SIZE Mattress. Royal Tonic, 20 year warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell. $40.
For Sale: collection of old people.
Nissan Maxima, green, leather, loaded, CD, auto start, sunroof, 4-door, good condition, $4500. Not for sale.
TOMBSTONE: Standard gray. A good buy for someone named Grady.
Police checked the area and found an open door in the back of the building. An officer went inside and called out, "Marco."
Police found the suspect after he responded, "Polo."
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Funny Story
I received a phone call Sunday night after we arrived home from church. It was my mom. She was concerned about daddy because he was scheduled for eye surgery today and really needed a ride to and from that. So I told her not to worry about it. I would handle it.
This was originally going to be a very busy day for me because we have our annual Thanksgiving dinner for the ladies at church tonight. So since I needed to have school with the children, bake a turkey given to me for the ladies meeting, needed to show Hannah how to make her very first pie crust from scratch, etc, etc...I decided to rearrange my schedule yesterday. I had school with the kids, ran to the bank, ran back home because I forgot something, ran back to the bank, ran to the post office to mail a letter to a friend, ran to the hardware store (which didn't have what I needed), ran to see my mom and pick up her dirty clothes, ran into Roses for a throw away pan to bake my turkey in, ran into Food Lion for ingredients Hannah needed for her pie crust, ran home. Took some medicine for a POUNDING headache that never really went away, ran out with Bruce to do some business and pick up things needed for co-op Thursday, fixed supper for my family, threw in mom's dirty clothes to wash, cleaned the kitchen, prepared my turkey, bleached everything the turkey touched or was near (lol), and finally pushed ole Tom in the oven at 1:30 am. Swept the kitchen floor, folded mom's laundry so it would be ready to take to her on my way to get dad for his eye appointment, cleaned off "stuff" from the table, grabbed a sip of hot, raspberry green tea that was now cold because I forgot about it, (ewww), and hit the sack at 2:00 am sharp! I was whooped! But that's OK...everything was done for me to take daddy to his appointment and nothing would stand in the way of it. I got up at 6:00am to check on Tom, who was still looking a little pale for my liking.
Back in he went.
Back to bed I went.
Bruce woke me up for my morning back rub at 6:30. That was great! He's so sweet. Thanks, Hon! I fell back to sleep, which I don't normally do, and was finally awakened by Justin getting ready to leave for his class at the college. I checked Tom again, but he was still not to my liking. I sat with Bruce to watch Fox news for a little bit, stayed on the kids to get ready for school, and then.........the phone call. At 8:30 this morning I received a call from daddy saying that I didn't need to come get him today because he wasn't scheduled for anything.
*sigh*
Tom is done. I'm going back to bed.
EDITED TO SAY:
Daddy called this afternoon....his appointment was yesterday.
This was originally going to be a very busy day for me because we have our annual Thanksgiving dinner for the ladies at church tonight. So since I needed to have school with the children, bake a turkey given to me for the ladies meeting, needed to show Hannah how to make her very first pie crust from scratch, etc, etc...I decided to rearrange my schedule yesterday. I had school with the kids, ran to the bank, ran back home because I forgot something, ran back to the bank, ran to the post office to mail a letter to a friend, ran to the hardware store (which didn't have what I needed), ran to see my mom and pick up her dirty clothes, ran into Roses for a throw away pan to bake my turkey in, ran into Food Lion for ingredients Hannah needed for her pie crust, ran home. Took some medicine for a POUNDING headache that never really went away, ran out with Bruce to do some business and pick up things needed for co-op Thursday, fixed supper for my family, threw in mom's dirty clothes to wash, cleaned the kitchen, prepared my turkey, bleached everything the turkey touched or was near (lol), and finally pushed ole Tom in the oven at 1:30 am. Swept the kitchen floor, folded mom's laundry so it would be ready to take to her on my way to get dad for his eye appointment, cleaned off "stuff" from the table, grabbed a sip of hot, raspberry green tea that was now cold because I forgot about it, (ewww), and hit the sack at 2:00 am sharp! I was whooped! But that's OK...everything was done for me to take daddy to his appointment and nothing would stand in the way of it. I got up at 6:00am to check on Tom, who was still looking a little pale for my liking.
Back in he went.
Back to bed I went.
Bruce woke me up for my morning back rub at 6:30. That was great! He's so sweet. Thanks, Hon! I fell back to sleep, which I don't normally do, and was finally awakened by Justin getting ready to leave for his class at the college. I checked Tom again, but he was still not to my liking. I sat with Bruce to watch Fox news for a little bit, stayed on the kids to get ready for school, and then.........the phone call. At 8:30 this morning I received a call from daddy saying that I didn't need to come get him today because he wasn't scheduled for anything.
*sigh*
Tom is done. I'm going back to bed.
EDITED TO SAY:
Daddy called this afternoon....his appointment was yesterday.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Another Saturday Morning Funny
"Marcia" left another comment for me this morning. I must have her really upset. LOL Oh well.
Here is her new comment:
OK, here we go....so the readers of Thimble Thoughts understand....let me make myself clear. I do not find the issues hilarious. They are extremely important to me. I do, however, find "Marcia's" comments hilarious. And I believe I made myself clear on that when saying it was the part about Rednecks that cracked me up. I don't recall saying anything about the issues being hilarious. You can check it out yourself in the post below if you'd like.
Let's start here with an accusation she made. She said, "I knew you would not print my whole post." Well, I did publish her entire comment in the comment section under the Women in Leadership post. Just not in the Disturbing, Yet Hilarious post because I didn't realize that "And one more thing" would be so important to what was being discussed. Everything else that had actual meaning (well to Marcia) was posted. So, "Marcia", if you read this post, and I'm sure you will, please forgive me for not posting "And one more thing." It obviously had great meaning to you.
Let's see...what's next. Oh yes! She used the term, "If you people..." If by using that term, she means people who are right wing, ultra-conservative, God fearing, God honoring people, then that's about the only thing she said in the comment above that she had right.
"Marcia" said, "You only want an easy target." I can assure you that terrorists are not an easy target. Let me just say that it's taken several years to fight terrorists and it only takes a moment to kill a baby in a willing mother's womb. Now you tell me, folks....which one is the easier target?
Exodus 21: 22 - 25 "If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman's husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine. And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life, Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe."
I'll not deny that I am for war. Do I love it? No. I think it's sad when it comes to war. But we need to fight for what we have. Someone close to our hearts used to say, "Give 'em a tract, and pass the ammo!" That's how I feel about it too. I know Christmas is coming and there will be a lot of wishes for peace around the world. *rolling eyes* But let's face it. There will never be peace until Christ comes to take His children Home. I hate it that there are innocent people dying because of this war. But war is sometimes necessary and with every war there will be casualties and innocent lives lost. This is how we became and remain a free country.
Do you know what the cause of war is, people? SIN! James 4:1 & 2 tells us exactly that: "Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it. For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it." Until the lost of the world put their rest in Christ, we will never have peace on earth.
We live in a country that was established on God. Who, by the way, is a God of war. Oh, yes He is. Exodus 17:16 says, "For he said, Because the LORD hath sworn that the LORD will have war with Amalek from GENERATION to GENERATION."
I have listened to both sides of the candidates and I just get confused when listening to Barack NObama. Let's see, at first he said he would not raise taxes on those making less than $250,000, then it was $200,000, then his running mate said $150,000, then someone yesterday on the campaign trail with him said $121,000. Before you know it, he'll have it down to $40,000, which, by the way, is what he last voted on in the House. Hmm. Not to mention...his associations and ties with socialist, American-hating people is enough for me to vote McCain.
I like that quote that says,
Here is her new comment:
"Another thought...if you people really cared about the right to life,
why do you not care so much that a million innocent Iraqi citzens have been
killed in this war. The scarl of death and suffering, not only of our troops but
of the Iraqus as well, should spur efforts to end the occupation and to prevent
the pre-emptive invasions in the future. The American people deseve a government
that is willing to create a foreign policy based on international cooperaion,
law, and siplomacy rather than violence and aggression.You claim to care about
the right to life, but you don't. You only want an easy target.
I find it incredulous that you think these important issues are
"hilarious."I KNEW you would not print my whole post! You know there is too much
truth in it.By the way, Barack Obama, when elected, will cut your taxes. As a
working family, you will receive a tax cut of $1000 per year. Check out his plan
on his website. It sounds like you are only parroting what other people have
told you. Please show your intelligence by listening to both sides. You say in
your blog you care about your readers thoughts.
Marcia"
OK, here we go....so the readers of Thimble Thoughts understand....let me make myself clear. I do not find the issues hilarious. They are extremely important to me. I do, however, find "Marcia's" comments hilarious. And I believe I made myself clear on that when saying it was the part about Rednecks that cracked me up. I don't recall saying anything about the issues being hilarious. You can check it out yourself in the post below if you'd like.
Let's start here with an accusation she made. She said, "I knew you would not print my whole post." Well, I did publish her entire comment in the comment section under the Women in Leadership post. Just not in the Disturbing, Yet Hilarious post because I didn't realize that "And one more thing" would be so important to what was being discussed. Everything else that had actual meaning (well to Marcia) was posted. So, "Marcia", if you read this post, and I'm sure you will, please forgive me for not posting "And one more thing." It obviously had great meaning to you.
Let's see...what's next. Oh yes! She used the term, "If you people..." If by using that term, she means people who are right wing, ultra-conservative, God fearing, God honoring people, then that's about the only thing she said in the comment above that she had right.
"Marcia" said, "You only want an easy target." I can assure you that terrorists are not an easy target. Let me just say that it's taken several years to fight terrorists and it only takes a moment to kill a baby in a willing mother's womb. Now you tell me, folks....which one is the easier target?
Exodus 21: 22 - 25 "If men strive, and hurt a woman with child, so that her fruit depart from her, and yet no mischief follow: he shall be surely punished, according as the woman's husband will lay upon him; and he shall pay as the judges determine. And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life, Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe."
I'll not deny that I am for war. Do I love it? No. I think it's sad when it comes to war. But we need to fight for what we have. Someone close to our hearts used to say, "Give 'em a tract, and pass the ammo!" That's how I feel about it too. I know Christmas is coming and there will be a lot of wishes for peace around the world. *rolling eyes* But let's face it. There will never be peace until Christ comes to take His children Home. I hate it that there are innocent people dying because of this war. But war is sometimes necessary and with every war there will be casualties and innocent lives lost. This is how we became and remain a free country.
Do you know what the cause of war is, people? SIN! James 4:1 & 2 tells us exactly that: "Let us therefore fear, lest, a promise being left us of entering into his rest, any of you should seem to come short of it. For unto us was the gospel preached, as well as unto them: but the word preached did not profit them, not being mixed with faith in them that heard it." Until the lost of the world put their rest in Christ, we will never have peace on earth.
We live in a country that was established on God. Who, by the way, is a God of war. Oh, yes He is. Exodus 17:16 says, "For he said, Because the LORD hath sworn that the LORD will have war with Amalek from GENERATION to GENERATION."
I have listened to both sides of the candidates and I just get confused when listening to Barack NObama. Let's see, at first he said he would not raise taxes on those making less than $250,000, then it was $200,000, then his running mate said $150,000, then someone yesterday on the campaign trail with him said $121,000. Before you know it, he'll have it down to $40,000, which, by the way, is what he last voted on in the House. Hmm. Not to mention...his associations and ties with socialist, American-hating people is enough for me to vote McCain.
I like that quote that says,
"If you don't support the country
you live in, go live in the country you
support."All comments have been closed on this discussion. Return to your corner of the ring, ladies, and wait for the next bell.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Disturbing, Yet Hilarious Comment
I received this comment tonight from a "Marcia Pope" on the Women in Leadership post below.
I'm sure this was meant to upset me, and they probably thought I wouldn't publish the comment, but I've always said that everyone is entitled to their opinion and as long as they don't use foul language and aren't terribly rude, I'll post their comment. I do have to say that this one actually made me giggle a little bit.
First of all, the redneck thing was what cracked me up. I'm not at all denying that there is a little redneck in this Carolina girl, but it was meant as a bad thing from "Marcia" when she put the adjective ignorant beside of it. But what I couldn't figure out was, what exactly did I say to make all North Carolina girls look like IGNORANT rednecks. Can y'all read that post again and tell me where the IGNORANT redneck is apparent? I certainly don't want to give that impression about the wonderful gals in the beautiful state of North Carolina.
Secondly, there is NOTHING that Barack Obama can do to help MY family. My husband works WAY too hard for someone to reach into his pocket and spread HIS wealth around to people who don't and won't work.
He won't help my family by cutting military funding. When military funding is cut, our national security is in jeopardy and we appear weak to terrorists.
He won't help my family by appointing liberal judges to the supreme court that will continue to give women the "right to choose" among a whole HUGE list of other liberal, far left wing, agendas that are totally against what I believe this country was founded upon.
And Most importantly, he won't help my family by turning his back on Israel. When a nation elects a man that will turn his back on Israel, God will turn his back on that nation.
Now, I could go on about all the ways he WON'T be able to help my family, but the bottom line is this...I am a Christian and I will vote the Bible. It's like my husband said tonight....There are two things that are certain in life. Death and taxes. We know they exist and so we can't go around worrying about them. If we'll just focus on who lines up more with the WORD of God, we'll be all right. So when I go into the voting booth and cast my vote for John McCain and Sarah Palin on Tuesday, November 4th, I will be voting for moral issues and the freedom that I love and hold dear to my heart. The freedom that men and women have died for.
I am proud to be an American......today.
IF Obama wins, and I hope and pray he does NOT, I am all ready with my bumper sticker that says "Don't blame me, I voted for McCain." However, IF Obama wins, we'll become a socialist country and I won't be able to put it on my car.
ETS:
My husband wanted me to add that rednecks are not stupid people. And a redneck WOMAN is a force to be reckoned with.
HA! I reckon he'd know.
This blog post has also been closed for further comments. Take a rest until the next post.
"Obama is going to win! I really think his team will do positive things
for your family.
Also you are giving North Carolina women a bad name. You are making us
all look like ignorant rednecks."
I'm sure this was meant to upset me, and they probably thought I wouldn't publish the comment, but I've always said that everyone is entitled to their opinion and as long as they don't use foul language and aren't terribly rude, I'll post their comment. I do have to say that this one actually made me giggle a little bit.
First of all, the redneck thing was what cracked me up. I'm not at all denying that there is a little redneck in this Carolina girl, but it was meant as a bad thing from "Marcia" when she put the adjective ignorant beside of it. But what I couldn't figure out was, what exactly did I say to make all North Carolina girls look like IGNORANT rednecks. Can y'all read that post again and tell me where the IGNORANT redneck is apparent? I certainly don't want to give that impression about the wonderful gals in the beautiful state of North Carolina.
Secondly, there is NOTHING that Barack Obama can do to help MY family. My husband works WAY too hard for someone to reach into his pocket and spread HIS wealth around to people who don't and won't work.
He won't help my family by cutting military funding. When military funding is cut, our national security is in jeopardy and we appear weak to terrorists.
He won't help my family by appointing liberal judges to the supreme court that will continue to give women the "right to choose" among a whole HUGE list of other liberal, far left wing, agendas that are totally against what I believe this country was founded upon.
And Most importantly, he won't help my family by turning his back on Israel. When a nation elects a man that will turn his back on Israel, God will turn his back on that nation.
Now, I could go on about all the ways he WON'T be able to help my family, but the bottom line is this...I am a Christian and I will vote the Bible. It's like my husband said tonight....There are two things that are certain in life. Death and taxes. We know they exist and so we can't go around worrying about them. If we'll just focus on who lines up more with the WORD of God, we'll be all right. So when I go into the voting booth and cast my vote for John McCain and Sarah Palin on Tuesday, November 4th, I will be voting for moral issues and the freedom that I love and hold dear to my heart. The freedom that men and women have died for.
I am proud to be an American......today.
IF Obama wins, and I hope and pray he does NOT, I am all ready with my bumper sticker that says "Don't blame me, I voted for McCain." However, IF Obama wins, we'll become a socialist country and I won't be able to put it on my car.
ETS:
My husband wanted me to add that rednecks are not stupid people. And a redneck WOMAN is a force to be reckoned with.
HA! I reckon he'd know.
This blog post has also been closed for further comments. Take a rest until the next post.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
DRAMA...From the Stars!
I recently wrote our Christmas play and this past Sunday night I asked Brother RJ and Mrs. Liz if they would consider being in the play as the "mom and dad." I was pleasantly surprised to see how excited Mrs. Liz was and how quickly they both agreed. That made me happy, 'cause, you know...I worry about stuff like that. ANYWAY! I asked if they wanted two scripts or if they wanted to share. "No, two scripts aren't necessary" they said, "We can share." Later that night, I received a phone call from Brother RJ...oh, excuse me...his manager *ahem*, that Brother RJ thought it was quite ironic that I would ask if they wanted two scripts when Brother RJ had only three lines in the play. Not to mention.........he dies.
Apparently, this has bothered Brother RJ for the last several days, so he decided to write his Play Resume` and personally hand it to me last night. No doubt in hopes that he would be given a larger, more important part in this year's Christmas play. I will share his resume` with you now.
Apparently, this has bothered Brother RJ for the last several days, so he decided to write his Play Resume` and personally hand it to me last night. No doubt in hopes that he would be given a larger, more important part in this year's Christmas play. I will share his resume` with you now.
Play Resume`
RJ P-----
Youth Pastor, Faith Baptist Church
*Pee Wee Pirate
*Abraham Lincoln
*Patch Pirate....3 years
*Lazarus
*Sock Boy....college skit
*Narrator
*Dad - in some play
*Roomate of top star at BJU
*Electra Cution
*Cher
*VBS - "BUBBA"
*Speech minor in college
*Master of Impromtu
Bruce and I liked the last one best. We may start calling him MASTER RJ, instead of Brother RJ from now on.
Quite an impressive resume`, wouldn't you say? However, after going through his list of qualifications, I have come to the very difficult decision to keep his part in the play....as "Dad".... who dies....with only three lines.
Sometimes the Lord uses things like this to keep us humble.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Funny Memory
For Hannah's birthday several years ago, we totally redid her room. She picked her paint, her bedding, her wall decorations, etc. As I pulled a table out from the wall so Bruce could begin painting, this is what I found. A picture painted on the wall with glitter fingernail polish.
"Hannah Victoria! What is this on your wall?"
"It's Paw Paw B***"
"Why did you paint a picture of Paw Paw on your wall with fingernail polish?"
"'Cause I didn't have any crayons."
ETA: For those of you wondering, we actually did paint over it, but I wanted a picture of it before Bruce did it.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Things That Make You Say, "Hmmmm"
Well, it's official. The good news is, Bruce got his time off and we will be going on vacation Friday. The bad news is that the place we normally stay at when we go to the beach is completely booked! It's the middle of September and they're BOOKED!!! Hmmmm!
Twelve floors of the Ocean Drive Golf and Beach Resort are booked with only one room available for us. One room. Apparently, every shagger between the ages of 40-60 will be in the area for the Shag Convention. And apparently, surrounding hotels are the same. Which means everything on that side of Myrtle Beach will be busy and packed. Hmmmm!
I don't like busy and packed beaches. I like empty, quiet beaches. You know...when children are in school...no drunk college kids are running around...Adults are at work... and the beach, the pools, and jacuzzis are ours! But no! Here come the shaggers. Dancing their way right into my perfect vacation spot. Who do they think they are, anyway? I suppose there's always the mountains...but then there's also the other side of the beach. I'll let ya know later. Hmmmm!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't think I would mind watching sports on TV too much, if it weren't for the commentators. Sometimes they get on my nerves. I mean, the players are out there, things are moving fast, they have to think fast, and sometimes they don't think too brightly. Yeah, they could have, should have done something different, but that's playing the game, right? On the flip side, they ARE being paid millions to move fast, think fast, and think wisely. But still...sometimes the commentators just need to give 'em a break.
With that said, I thought I'd share a few things commentators have said that weren't too bright. LOL These came out of a book Cassie gave Bruce for Christmas.
*"If only faces could talk." ~Pat Summerall, NFL announcer Hmmm
*"Hector Torres, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?" ~Jerry Coleman, San Diego Padres announcer Hmmm
*"A lot of good ballgames on tomorrow, but we're going to be right here with the Cubs and the Mets." ~Thom Brennaman, Chicago Cubs announcer Hmmm
*"Lance Armstrong is about to join a list which includes only himself." ~Mark Brown, ESPN sports analyst Hmmm
*"I don't think anywhere is there a symbiotic relationship between caddie and player like there is in golf." ~Johnny Miller, golf analyst Hmmm
*"It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs." ~David Coleman, British sports announcer Hmmm
*"The Minutemen are not tall in terms of height." ~Dan Bonner, college basketball analyst Hmmm
*"Jose Canseco leads off the 3rd inning with a grand slam!" ~John Gordon, Minnesota Twins announcer Hmmm
*"The offensive lineman are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field." ~John Madden, NFL announcer Hmmm
*"Watch the expression on his mask." ~Harry Neale, hockey analyst Hmmm
And this one is my favorite
*"The game's in the refrigerator, folks. The door's closed, the light's out, the eggs are cooling, the butter's gettin' hard, and the Jell-O-s a-jigglin'." ~Chick Hearn, L.A. Lakers announcer Hmmm
Twelve floors of the Ocean Drive Golf and Beach Resort are booked with only one room available for us. One room. Apparently, every shagger between the ages of 40-60 will be in the area for the Shag Convention. And apparently, surrounding hotels are the same. Which means everything on that side of Myrtle Beach will be busy and packed. Hmmmm!
I don't like busy and packed beaches. I like empty, quiet beaches. You know...when children are in school...no drunk college kids are running around...Adults are at work... and the beach, the pools, and jacuzzis are ours! But no! Here come the shaggers. Dancing their way right into my perfect vacation spot. Who do they think they are, anyway? I suppose there's always the mountains...but then there's also the other side of the beach. I'll let ya know later. Hmmmm!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't think I would mind watching sports on TV too much, if it weren't for the commentators. Sometimes they get on my nerves. I mean, the players are out there, things are moving fast, they have to think fast, and sometimes they don't think too brightly. Yeah, they could have, should have done something different, but that's playing the game, right? On the flip side, they ARE being paid millions to move fast, think fast, and think wisely. But still...sometimes the commentators just need to give 'em a break.
With that said, I thought I'd share a few things commentators have said that weren't too bright. LOL These came out of a book Cassie gave Bruce for Christmas.
*"If only faces could talk." ~Pat Summerall, NFL announcer Hmmm
*"Hector Torres, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?" ~Jerry Coleman, San Diego Padres announcer Hmmm
*"A lot of good ballgames on tomorrow, but we're going to be right here with the Cubs and the Mets." ~Thom Brennaman, Chicago Cubs announcer Hmmm
*"Lance Armstrong is about to join a list which includes only himself." ~Mark Brown, ESPN sports analyst Hmmm
*"I don't think anywhere is there a symbiotic relationship between caddie and player like there is in golf." ~Johnny Miller, golf analyst Hmmm
*"It's a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs." ~David Coleman, British sports announcer Hmmm
*"The Minutemen are not tall in terms of height." ~Dan Bonner, college basketball analyst Hmmm
*"Jose Canseco leads off the 3rd inning with a grand slam!" ~John Gordon, Minnesota Twins announcer Hmmm
*"The offensive lineman are the biggest guys on the field, they're bigger than everybody else, and that's what makes them the biggest guys on the field." ~John Madden, NFL announcer Hmmm
*"Watch the expression on his mask." ~Harry Neale, hockey analyst Hmmm
And this one is my favorite
*"The game's in the refrigerator, folks. The door's closed, the light's out, the eggs are cooling, the butter's gettin' hard, and the Jell-O-s a-jigglin'." ~Chick Hearn, L.A. Lakers announcer Hmmm
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