Friday, December 18, 2009

Santa...Bad Influence on Children!

I've read a lot of blogs over the last several weeks and people are doing their yearly post on the evils of Satan....I mean, Santa!  Sorry.  Anyway...Talk Radio (you know the station you listen to when your blood pressure just isn't high enough) spoke with a British Doctor that said Santa is a bad influence on children.

Really?  This I've never heard.  Doesn't he give gifts to all the children in the world and make them happy? OK, I was raised and respect the perspective that you're lying to your children.  But I had to turn up the volume on this segment because I wanted to hear what the Dr. had to say.

Dr. Grills wrote his article in the British Medical Journal.  He wanted parents to know that Santa promotes drunk driving.  I didn't understand that at first.  I mean, what's in that milk kiddies leave him on Christmas Eve anyway?  But I guess the US and a few other countries are the only ones that leave him milk.  Other countries are leaving him a glass of sherry.  So yeah, I guess Santa is flying around with a buzz.  You think?

He also promotes obesity with all the cookies and Christmas goodies left for him.  So I guess Dr. Grills is saying if you're obese you're a bad influence on children.  *sigh*  Better eat a few of those carrot and celery sticks Dr. Grills suggests leaving out for Santa in place of cookies.  I wonder if cream cheese dip is ok to serve with those?

Not only does Santa promote drunk driving and obesity, but he also promotes bad safety.  If your child is caught or hurt doing extreme sports, such as roof surfing or chimney the North Pole and complain.  They picked that up from Santa too!!  I haven't heard of any children doing this, but you just never know.  I don't know how to get that number to complain, but maybe you could google it.

And if your little one refuses to wear their seatbelt, they got that from him too!  Santa doesn't wear his either.  And he's flying the skies in a sleigh!  Not only is he not wearing his seatbelt, but he hasn't a helmet either.  I wonder if he would consider using the one he was going to give Little Timmy this year? 

Santa use to promote smoking too.  But apparently he stopped that in the 1930's.  Maybe the drunken, cigarette puffing, obese, dangerous extreme sport promoting man in the red suit will think twice about his influece on children from here on out!

Somehow I doubt it.