I'd be lying to say I've never been angry with God. That some trials, one in particular, did not cause me to stray from Him and literally just go through the motions of Christianity for weeks. I did get over it, though, and grew in grace because of that trial. Going over them multiple times in my heart and head and constantly writing about them, talking about them, and thinking about them was like picking and peeling the scab off a wound over and over again. There comes a time when you have to "let go and let God" heal the wound completely. Scab and all.
Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart...." Who better to trust than the Almighty? After all, man is the one that fails us. God has never failed us. He has never done anything harmful to us. So why do we always blame Him and take it out on Him and our relationship with Him when bad things happen? He doesn't control people like some big puppeteer in the sky. He has created each of us with a free will. What we do with that free will is entirely up to us. We know that every decision we make will affect those around us. We all KNOW this. And yet, when we are affected by someone else's sins, we give up everything we've been taught, cross our arms, and only uncross them to shake our fist at Him. Why? Because we are mere humans who only WISH they knew the mind of God and why He allows bad things to happen to good people while bad people live happily ever after. Well...happily in the here and now. Ever after, not so much.
It's easy to romanticize our circumstances and pen them on paper for the world to see and give us pity. But the truth is, it's time to get over it. Time to move on. Let the pity come from God and let Him strengthen us in our weaknesses.
We deserve nothing but Hell and damnation. But if we trust in Him we can escape that. If trudging through trials, holding His hand as He leads through thick, deep, mud holes of hurt and pain, grows me just a little more in His love and grace, and if He is still holding my hand when I pass through from this world to the next, it will be worth it all.
"Lead me on, let me stand..."
By the way, if we find ourselves at some point and time NOT holding His hand, it is not because He let go of us. But because we let go of Him.
And if we do find ourselves in that situation there are two decisions we can make.
1. Turn our backs and keep on walking without Him.
2. Turn our eyes from our hurts and back to Him, take His outstretched hand in ours, and walk on with Him, not turning back to the things that crush our relationship with Him.
Through it all, through it all
I've learned to trust in Jesus, I've learned to trust in God
through it all, through it all
I've learned to depend upon His Word.
Until we learn to trust Him and depend on His Word, we will always be picking and peeling that scab of hurt.
Let it heal. So what if there's a scar. Remember, scars are where healing took place.
His Word. It does work. Every time.