Yeah, it's not what you think. I'm actually referring to the terror of fat!
For the last several weeks, a group of friends and myself, have been trying to meet once a week, weigh in, and be accountable to one another. We're doing it twelve weeks at a time. We'll reset our goals for another twelve weeks when these are up. So far it's going ok.
Can I be honest? At this very moment, I'm pretty sure my stomach is gnawing on my ribs. But it's ok. After weigh in tonight I'll eat my supper. I might actually live up until then.
All joking aside, it really is a battle. When you've spent your whole life eating whatever you want and then make a conscious decision to change, whether it is your way of eating, or something else in your life you feel needs changing, it can be a battle.
A battle of will. Strength. And power.
Sometimes I feel like the female version of Thor. While other times I feel like I have none of the above. No will. No strength. And no power.
Something, though, that has made a HUGE difference for me is journaling everything I put in my mouth. I'm calorie counting. Have you ever tried to count calories? It can get a little confusing sometimes, depending on what you're eating, but once you get use to it, it's not bad at all.
Anyway, I picked up a 28oz water bottle and a journal a few weeks ago. Since then I try to drink four bottles of water a day and journal everything I eat. Have you ever tried to drink 112oz of water a day? Granted, I love water. But 112oz makes my bladder want to splatter, if you get my "drift."
It's been interesting, since journaling, to see how my mind has quickly become accustomed to questioning whether or not I really am hungry or just want to stuff my jaws. It's also been kind of funny to realize that I'll put something back in the cabinet or back in the fridge if I have to write it in my journal and deduct from the day's calorie intake.
I've come to the realization, also, that I am an emotional eater. And I don't mean when I'm just stressed. I mean happy, stressed, angry, hurt, etc. Emotions send me to the kitchen.
Since I've been journaling, I've allowed my emotions to take me other places. I'll admit that my feet start toward the kitchen, but end up somewhere else. Because I really dislike journaling those calorie deductions. I feel like I've lost an important battle in the "war on terror" when that happens.
Yep. It's a battle. And I intend to win the war.
Tonight I speak from my inner Thor. Tomorrow? Well.... tomorrow I may be flying the white flag of surrender.
This week, we've been in revival with Brother Tony Hutson. He's been preaching hard all week. I'm glad he was able to make it. We have two nights left. Friday night we'll be having an emphasis on youth. I'm looking forward to seeing all the youth from different area churches that will be in attendance.
While we were in Virginia, I read this in a book my Uncle Gene had on a shelf. It's called Prescription for Revival.
If all the sleeping folk will wake up
If all the lukewarm people will fire up
If all the dishonest folk will confess up
If all the disgruntled folk will cheer up
If all the estranged folk will make up
If all the gossipers will shut up
If all the true soldiers will stand up
If all the dry bones will shake up
If all the church members will pray up....
THEN we can have revival.