Today has probably been the absolute lowest day of my entire life.
I have felt the tears rising inside of me for a month now. Ever since daddy died. I talked with a friend through facebook messages who told me to just go ahead and cry. So I did. They finally started flowing out last night and haven't stopped yet.
I ran some errands today and on the way home I had to pull over. I don't think I've ever cried that long, that hard, or that loud. But it sure felt good to be getting it out.
Trying to keep the "happy face" for the family was easy when I got home. But my red and swollen eyes revealed my secret. I was doing ok until after supper. I felt like I had been kicked in the chest. So I decided to get out of the house for some fresh air. Maybe walk around Wal Mart for a little bit. As I walked through the store I would cry, dry it up, cry, dry it up, cry....you get the picture.
When I finally pulled myself together and was feeling better, I took my small purchase to the register. As I stood there, an older lady, probably in her eighties, was there with her son who was helping her with her groceries. They spoke to the cashier and it became obvious that they were family. The older lady turned to ask me if I would mind her giving the cashier a hug. "Oh, not at all," I replied. She went around the register and gave the clerk a hug. Then came back around and said, "Would it be all right if I hug you too?" I shook my head yes and she pulled me in close. Of course that intimate gesture sent me into another crying fit. As she pulled away I noticed the pin she was wearing on her shirt. It was gold and in black letters it said, I believe in miracles.
I really don't believe she noticed my swollen eyes, or even the tears that rolled when we hugged. Maybe she did. I don't know.
What I do know is that the hug came from God at just the right moment I needed one. A total stranger, a sweet, little lady, and the gift of one person reaching out to someone else. Me.
I'm glad God cares when I am feeling low in spirit, body, and mind. He is a good friend and gives the sweetest hugs.