So far this year the Lord has continued to show me things about myself and is changing my heart daily.
The first of January was a very difficult day for me. As the days progressed they became even more difficult. But the Lord kept showing me things about my personal situation I've been dealing with and things about myself that needed to change.
Here we are into the month of February and I'm feeling as though the Lord is STILL working on me. It seems that every quote I read, every verse I read, every sermon I hear is all for me. I'm glad of that. I pray that the Lord will continue to show me these things because I feel like things are getting better. Not just for me. But for all of us involved.
I'm feeling more secure in Christ. More secure in my relationship with my husband. More secure in my place as a wife and mother. For the most part I have always felt secure in those areas, but last year I felt disconnected from all of it, having being separated from my family most of the year.
2013 was a difficult year. All the way around. And 2014 has been difficult, too, but in a different way. No one likes for the Lord to show them things about themselves that needs changing. But sometimes it's necessary and there's a healing that happens when we obey. 2014 may be difficult, but it's also been calming and a happier way of living than last year.
I fought the Lord on a lot of things last year. It just seemed like God was closing the doors, left and right, on things that seemed to matter to me. It wasn't until the first of this year that He has showed me just how right He was and the lessons He wanted me to learn by them.
I am determined to live life according to God's will. According to His plan. According to His design. I am determined to love those who do not love me back. I am determined to talk less of those that I disagree with and just love them for who they are. And I am still determined not to allow others to run me over. I can set boundaries and love people at the same time. And by doing that, my circumstances will not interfere with my home and what I know God expects of me here and in my Biblical role.
It's been a lot to absorb and a lot to work on. Pray for me. Because it's difficult! It's not my nature. But by God's grace, it is HIS nature. And by God's grace, I can achieve His nature through prayer and staying in His Word.
I know the devil will fight me on that. He has already. But I'm going to continue being what I know the Lord would have me to be. Pray for those my nature would naturally turn against. And just "..love God and ever-body" as Pastor Goodman says.
I Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.