I had a crazy experience tonight trying to get to church. Since Bruce and the kids all had obligations before church, we decided they would take the car and I would drive Bruce's truck. I've driven his truck, like twice, in ten years. So I'm not really familiar with its little quirks.
The family left and I had an hour to get ready. The house was quiet, I was being leisure and taking my time, enjoying the Victorious Valley Girls CD. Everything was good. I made it out of the house just in time to be in my place at church.
I have a habit of taking a drink with me every time I go somewhere. Tonight was no different. I had a large cup of icy cold coke and was looking forward to sipping it on my way to church. I unlocked Bruce's truck and realized he did not have a cup holder. Which, in and of itself, probably wouldn't have been a problem, but it's a straight drive. So both hands were definitely needed. I was going to take it back inside but glancing at my watch, realized I could not do that because I would be late for church if I did. Needless to say, I guzzled it down. A great big cup of coke.
I placed the keys into the ignition and since it was already dark outside needed to turn the headlights on. I looked up to see if Bruce had a light on the roof and, nope, he did not. So I felt all around the steering wheel and could not for the life of me find the switch in the dark. Finally, after about eight to ten minutes and debating whether or not I should get my neighbor, I found it. I thought to myself, OK, let's go! Coke is gone and lights are on!
As I pulled into the church parking lot, the upper lots were full and I ended up parking way down near the end. No big deal. I'm only nine minutes late...I'll run. I turn the truck off, turn the lights off, and go to unbuckle my seat belt. Unbeknown st to me, his seat belt is fragile and needs gentle touching. So when I went to unbuckle myself the buckle fell apart and I was trapped in the seat belt. Since I couldn't see in the dark I couldn't figure out how to get out. I looked up and saw my friend Dawn, who was running a little late too, walking up the hill. She saw me in the truck but didn't know who I was, waving and smiling anyway. I was waving too, but with both hands, trying to let her know I needed help. She just continued smiling and walked on.
Now, I could have gotten her attention by honking the horn, but it was not where it should have been. See, Bruce had to rig up a horn in his truck because the one on the steering wheel stopped working. I couldn't remember where it was. I knew it was somewhere under the steering column, I just couldn't see it. So my hands are frantically searching for the little horn button to blow at my friend, who now is almost near the church doors. Finally I found it!
HONK HONK
But it was too late, she didn't hear it. She had already stepped inside and there I was....at the other end of the parking lot....trapped.
All I could think about was Bruce being upset that I didn't show up for church. What would he be thinking? Was I going to freeze out there? Should I just try to make it on back home? NO! So I just took a deep breath and for another five minutes fumbled around in the dark trying to figure out how to unbuckle the seat belt. And then....I found it!
I was happy that I finally made it into church. But I was so eager to get into the sanctuary I did not realize that the big cup of coke I had guzzled earlier had made its way to my bladder already until I sat down and took a deep breath.
I am not one for getting up and leaving during a service if I absolutely do not need to so I just did my best to hold it in until after church. I made it all the way up until Pastor had us stand for the invitation. I told myself, I can wait....just a few more minutes. But my bladder answered back, No, I don't think so.
I was never so happy to enter a bathroom stall in my whole life!
